Naisaiku: Breeze of Betrayal

twirls a wilted leaf
shoved into grim solitude
BREEZE OF BETRAYAL
shoved into grim solitude
twirls a wilted leaf

**Thanks Zoya for pointing out.. I hope it sounds better now :)

4 comments:

  1. There's a sadness to this, but lovely words.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Yeah, I can feel all the emotions here, betrayal, sadness, and solitude, what a combination.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 'swayed into void solitude '
    / please rethink this line (& i hope my pointers don't annoy u )..

    a beautiful idea ..

    ReplyDelete
  4. @all
    Thank you for the encouragement...

    @Zoya...
    actually even i was bothered abt that line... didnt come up with anything so posted as it is... thanks for pointing it out... will surely rethink it :)

    ReplyDelete

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